It's been a week now.. I force myself to be happy for someone who need me to yet i get all the heartbreaking news from him... I dont noe how long I can pretend... My happiness never last long... there's always something someone somewhere out there stop me from being happy... I am disappointed,hurt,upset,heartbroken,shattered,pain,destroyed... and now I am simply numb....
i just hope i an stronger, i just hope i have the strength to go thru this... im praying hard here.. i need your prayers too.. 


i was shock yesterday morning to receive a text from my new neighbour. He was at doha transit and gg to reach sg at 7.30+ pm.. was soo excited tht i keep looking at the time.. so planning to go thailand next?? heee

so im currently sitting for my 1st sem exam but looks like ive been slacking alot.. really alot! i went  out for a movie with frens during this exam week and slack at my fren's crib till late night playing 21 truth or dare.. went out shopping like nobody's bussiness.. enjoying life during the countdown.. wat the hack am i thinking abt.. 

did you know that my body clock is seriously getting worst each day.. wake up in the evening and sleep in the morning.. tried to chg tht but it seems not working.. dang! wat is up with me.. gna adjust it back aft exam ends...

so tomorrow is 7jan.. it suppose to be the day tht ive been looking forward to each year.. but this year, it seems to be a different year for me.. im not in mood to celebrate it.. and i just feel tht its gg to be the worst bdae ever.. normally since dec onwards ill have the best moment with frens family date arnd.. this year ill be having my exam on my bdae and ill be gg bck to kl too at 6.30pm.. i missed those previous years especially last year with him arnd.. its the best bdae ever... urgh! k lets not drag abt it.. anw i saw my tweet last year on my bdae and a pic of me and u and all the presents from frens family and u.. i almost teared..

k next week i have to go to royals and ask for my job back! cannot liao stay home the whole month dg nothing.. have to work.. die2 must work.. yat will be busy with his ns dan with his ups and the rest with their gf and work so i need to work to fill up my time.. atleast i can use the money for travelling.. wohoo! lagi sisters tkde or siket je yg ade.. haish.. mendak liao!


Happy 2013 everyone!! So how shld i describe my celebration for the new year and how i end my 2012..
Ive gotta admit, 2012 have been a roller coaster ride for me... It started of with a happiness but then it ended with so much pain sour memories and also crazy and outrageous things i did... 

So my last day of 2012 was a blast!!  2011 all out night cycling with the preu2-11 but this year, i spend my night with 3 difference friends from 3 difference background and 3 difference circle.. Reach home as late as 8am the next day but then again soo much fun and experience took place last night.. Smtg tht ive ever thought of but never thought it wld happen.. Thanks for this guys! Really.. And i was lucky enough i didnt saw u yesterday coz i know u were there.. but idk la if u saw me from far.. but i dont think i can easily be seen there.. huhu.. Anw u 3! this will be our 1st and the last aite! We cant be like this all the time.. It is acerly not necessary to experience this exposed life but it is fun to get to experience it once in a while... But still spiritually bad lor.. Dang.. Haha! And last 4 mths of 2012 was just this life, sch, family and friends.. 2012, ive lost someone but i gain more and more new friends.. So alhamdulilah for all this.. Ill pray that 2013 will be a better year for me inysallah.. And for all of u too insyaallah ameen..

Things that i wna achieve this year 
- license (car and motor)
- travel to a place ive never been to
- never try to run away from performing my prayers..
Insyaallah ameen i can!


Been trying to keep myslf away frm friends i always with.. Just keeping my social life to myself.. It's not good to share not even good for them to noe.. Im still searching my true identity and at the same time knowing the world exploring this young adult life.. I choose this path to exposed myslf and  get the experience.. Just let me do wat i wna do and insyaallah will learn frm it.. To stick in this r/s prob wont let me learn even more important and valueable aspects of life.. Tho it is hard for me, gotta be strong and move on with life.. I noe i have list of things to complete.. Still wna do things which ive been wanting to do and go to places or travel the world.. And i wna do the best for my uni life too..


Did you know tht i missed my flight sunday and i skip my mon class and went back kl by bus mon evening? Hahaha! Such an experience huh... So yeah ill tell u the story..

I was 45mins exactly at the counter for checking in yet the queue was damn long so i queed up.. The minute i reach the counter they say im too late and i cant catch the fligt.. They say i shld have cut the queue.. Dang! I was thinking of tht but i was soo kind hearted to do such thing.. Wow! Surprise huh... So i was supposed to purchase a new ticket and the previous ticket have been forfeited.. Went to the other counter hoping tht they can do some magic which later i dont have to pay any.. But it was my unlucky day. They cant do tht for me.. The next flight cost me almost a hundred! No way! Had the same problem few months back but we were soo lucky the girl at counter was a malay.. This time, a pinoy guy.. Urgh! Mane nye nk abide rules je.. So i was soo blank and i cant even think so i sat at the starbucks nearby and started finding a way out.. The only thing i can think of is getting a bus ticket to kl the next day.. I cant book them online coz they need atleast 48hrs to do so.. So i rushed to novena and get my first coach ticket.. Then a fren ask me why didnt i bought flight ticket at 8pm tht night.. Dang! I wasnt even thinking of tht.. But i guess i wont catch tht bus either.. I reached novena at 8.20 which was 10mins before the counter close.. So i skipped my mon class and went hme.. I spend alot on cab rides and tht few dollars wasted on the flight.. Now i am having a big financial problem.. I wanted to go back sg this week coz i wna meet a fren before he fly off.. But haish... Wat else can i do huh!


The first thing i get when i reached singapore were calls and messages from frens asking me am i back in singapore and plans started growing... 2 plans for tonite, 3 plans for tomorrow, 1 plan for sunday..huhu.. But sry guys! Gotta ditch some of you.. I need my quality tume at home.. Heee.. But still eager for tonite plan! Tau balik smlm ar!!!hahahaha!! Nari mlm happening bro!! Urgh!! Nvm... Once imdone with my assingment and right before my exam im gna party for atleast twice! Hahahaha! Lol!

I was deeply touched by my last brother fitri.. He misses me and started asking my mum am i coming back today.. Then he wrote "kakak fifi sayang fitri baby" on a whiteboard.. He said he was dreaming abt me and once he's awake, he felt like crying.. Soon as i reached home he gave a thight hug and a kiss.. How sweet ar this boy... Heeee.. I love you fitri!


It has been 3 months now in UM.. Ive now started to feel comfortable in this room.. However i still get bored easily especially from thurs onwards.. It gets worst on the weekend.. I wished i can have a fridge a stove and a TV yes TV! Gosh! Then ill feel complete here.. Atleast just stare at the tv until i fall asleep or the usual, turn it on while im doing my assingments or studying.. It is soo quiet here.. The least i can do is turn on the radio on my ipad,thanks to Me Radio, and just let it play the whole day.. Yet in the day the wifi is just damn slow.. So what else can i do? If i were to go out i dont noe where else to go or dont noe what i can do there.. Even sometimes these girls are just lazy to go out.. Reason being, financial.. Well that is also a problem im facing here..

Been wanting to start building up self confidence - to look good and getting fit, but the moment i start jog i hate this feeling of people staring.. Wanted to go to the gym since international student have to pay as much as 300RM.. But the timing for ladies clashed with my schedule.. On top of that a friend told me that the gym aint that good condition.. Urgh! Then, why pay soo much??!! Dang!

I have started applying melati back... Heeee~ just wna make me feel good by looking good.. Chey.. But im not saying that ill look good when im fairer okey.. Just feel good to look different.. Come on i noe im not among those beautiful gorgeous sexy popular girl... Im just a girl.. Wait! lady.... Haha!
But i do get jealous on these pretty girls..  I mean, why u soo pretty and what makes u soo pretty? Why soo lucky? Haha! Even me a girl are amaze with these pretty girls.. Their body,shapes,features,complexion... Oooooo melts~ lucky much huh!